naivety.

November 3, 2008 fuzzylogic1206

How could I have been so naive and so foolish to think that I could completely forget?

It will just keep coming back, and the thing is, I don’t even know whether I resent it, or love it…

“just like a tattoo, I’ll always have you…”  those words really sum it up.

Why did I have that dream at that time?  Sometimes I wonder if subconsciously, my heart and my mind is trying to tell me something…For two months and more, that thought never even crossed my mind, not even once…and then one night, one episode, and a week of chance crossing of paths…

Is it just me…does anyone else think about it?  Does it ever cross YOUR mind?  Or is it just me? 

Maybe I’ve just got to move on, but I can’t.

Someone asked me on Friday “aren’t you happy to see me?”, and my answer was yes.  Because I trully was happy to see her…ma source permanente d’eclats de rire…the thing that refilled my life with happiness when I was so drained two months or so ago.

If that other person were to ask me that question, what would I answer?  My life is a jumble of emotions…

 

You know, it’s funny…I think I’m being thrust into a strange role.  Less than a year ago, I was a depressed child, wanting nothing more than to end it all.  I had no idea how to control myself, no diea what was going on in my mind…and now people turn to me with their problems of this sort.   And it makes me realise, that these issues aren’t as rare as you think…and they most certainly shouldn’t be taboo…and I find that the words I say in comfort, trying to build up their hope in life, are the exact words you told me…exact words that would cause me so much pain now, yet give me the power to keep going…

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